Dancing Feet!

My own wedding (the anniversary of which is today - 14 years, thank you!) was held outside at a lakeside home. To allow me to get around more easily after the ceremony, my mother made these for me...

MY WEDDING SNEAKERS. I love them. I wore them all afternoon with my wedding gown and was able to run in the grass and dance and feel comfortable, without sacrificing that bridal feeling. You can see a little grass stain on the toes!

When my brother got married, my mother made Wedding Sneakers for my sister-in-law too; another outdoor wedding. And she was glad to have them when it began to pour, so she didn't ruin her official wedding shoes.

My mother's wedding will also be outside. So, I made her these on Monday night...

And I certainly didn't want Mike to feel left out, so I worked on these on Sunday night...

Counting on the assumption that Mom and Mike are far too busy to be reading my blog this week, I wanted to share these with you. I will give them as a surprise on Thursday, at a mini shower my sister-in-law and I are having with my mother. I hope they enjoy them!

Nana's wedding party, and girls step out

My mother's wedding will include a small, but dear wedding party. Along with the bride, Mom, and the groom, Mike, there will be 9 people directly involved.

Mike's brother will be standing as Best Man, and his nephew will "stand with the men" during the ceremony (there really won't be any ushering to do as I don't think anyone will be sitting during the ceremony).

My cousin will perform the ceremony and I've seen him at work. We'll all be crying our eyes out. It will be personal, meaningful and loving. I'm going to pass out tissues to all the guests beforehand. And keep several packs for myself.

My brother and my son will walk the bride down the aisle. I just love this. They are both so handsome. My son is so proud to be given such an important role. His Nana is his best friend.

My grandfather, the father of the bride, will meet her at the alter to give her away. He might add in some wisdom, such as "Where are we?" or "Yep, I'm still alive."

I am thrilled to stand as Matron of Honor. I'm not sure I like the title of MATRON, but alas, I am no Maid.

My daughter and my brother's two girls will be Maids of Honor. How cool. Not Junior Bridesmaids, not Flowergirls. Maids of Honor. How very grown up. They are 11, 10 and 9 years old.

Since "what to wear" is such a big question in weddings, it came up early for the girls. Immediately we all agreed that formal would not work, and frilly was just not their nature. It took a while to find the right dress for them. We even considered skirts or pants with dressy tops. We never looked at bridal shops. We searched J.Crew, Gap, Old Navy. We looked at Garnet Hill and Ralph Lauren. We finally located a dress, at Boden, that the girls felt they could comfortably wear, and that Mom thought was appropriate for the occasion. It's a simple sun dress; comfortable, breezy and unencumbered. We also got some little shrugs for them to wear in the evening, as it gets chilly by the water.

Shoes for the girls have been even trickier than dresses. The bride wants them to be comfortable. She wants them to be able to play on the rocks after the ceremony. But, they also have to be dressed for a wedding - they can't be dressed for rock climbing. We looked at little ballet slippers and flip-flops and plain white Keds sneakers. We talked about decorating the plain white Keds with ribbons and lace and pearls - but that made them wrinkle their little noses. We tried all the places we'd searched for dresses, hoping for a perfect pair of sandals or espadrilles. We looked at customized Converse AllStars with the word "Bridesmaid" embroidered on the side (my daughter's first choice) - but decided they were way too bulky. Cool, but bulky. After many weeks of ignoring the shoe dilemma and hoping it would solve itself, I finally made an effort to visit every available shoe in our mall, with my daughter in tow, until we found something. We looked at sandals and sneakers and flip flops. And where did we end up? PAYLESS SHOES. Ugh. I truly am not a fan of Payless. Anything I've ever purchased there has self-destructed directly under my feet in a matter of days. But since the girls are only going to wear these shoes for a couple of hours, self-destruction will be tolerated. We found a nice pair of silver sandals that go perfectly with the dress and will look rather grown-up on wedding day.



I haven't even seen the whole ensemble together on my daughter yet. And I'm not sure what my nieces have for shoes, or if they even have shoes yet. I suppose a test run would be a good idea. But, I have to square away what I'M wearing first! And that comes next. In a few days.

New image for the photo contest tomorrow. And a new prize. Hmm, what will it be? See you then.

What's a Bride to Wear?

My mother was never looking for a formal wedding gown. She knew from the start that she wouldn't wear a typical gown, but I know there's a part of her that would LOVE TO. I mean, really LOVE TO. Who wouldn't? Her first wedding was very small and she didn't have a wedding gown. So this time around we went dress shopping.

We stopped at Spoil Me and looked at the beautiful gowns by The Cotton Bride, and at Serendipity and Tavecchia, where we looked at dresses that are not necessarily bridal, but appropriate. She landed fairly early in the process on a skirt, not from a bridal salon, but from Serendipity, a "regular" store in downtown Portland. She really found this skirt on the first day we went shopping. She belabored over it for a while, and a couple of weeks later she ordered it in her size, with two extra yards of fabric to make a top, and extra trimmings for the top and for a headpiece. Meanwhile, she kept looking. She's not the best shopper, to be blunt, because she doesn't like making decisions (you can imagine how that bodes with planning a wedding for yourself!). She never buys anything at the first sighting. She visits things over and over before buying. She visited this skirt in person twice and online countless times before it was actually ordered. Even after making a decision, she hadn't really decided. She kept looking, finding her backups A, B and C.

The skirt is beautiful. It's a smokey blue/green silk dupione, full with gathers and silk roses for trim. It's long, with an abstract hemline and a simple elastic waist. It's just bridal enough without being over the top, and sophisticated but NOT AT ALL FRUMPY.

Two weeks after it was ordered, the skirt came in the mail. I had a phone call. And she cried disaster. Her wedding skirt had arrived and it was all wrong. For about 3 hours it was all wrong, and then it was okay. We discussed how it was the wrong color, but really it was just the light; how it was all wrinkled and bunched up, but really a good steaming would take care of that; and how it was just WAY TOO BIG, but we both know how to sew really well, so we could fix that; and how it was WAY TOO LONG, but a tailor could take care of that easily, even though it needed to be shortened from the waist, not the hem.

The color, and wrinkles of course were easily rectified. The sizing however, proved to be more difficult, and discouraging. If you've never needed a tailor before, it's tough to find a good one that you trust. Unfortunately, the tailor she found wasn't very good and when he returned the skirt there were new problems.

Mom was very frustrated. She started shopping for dresses all over again. During a trip to Saratoga, we visited two more bridal salons, and three more dress shops. For me, a passionate lover of fabrics and gathers and trimmings and fits, yes, it was way too much fun. And for mom, it was a lot of fun too - she was ready to try on actual wedding gowns: possibly just for fun, partly to find a flattering dress style, and maybe even to find a dress.

I've been so privileged to watch my mother try on some of the most beautiful wedding gowns. Now, that's not something most of us get to see - Mom in a wedding gown - except in photos. We had so much fun with so many types of dresses. At Lily, she tried on a contemporary dress that we both LOVED. It was gorgeous on and just the right style and cut for her. It's a dress by Vineyard, called Jules. It's a shirtwaist style that wraps around and then ties in the front, or back, almost like a shirt-coat, with a skirt that eases into full, from a beautifully fitted bodice. It was really cool, and I could see that she was tempted, but she decided it was way too bridal for her.

At Immortal Beloved Bridal (sorry, no website yet), aka Bird of Paradise, she tried on several dresses. She tried skirt-and-top bridal combinations; full silk skirts with fabulous gathers and trimmings, paired with simple petite tops that would be decorated just-right with the perfect little corsage and she tried on a slim, antique lace dress, long and elegant and sophisticated. It fit like it was made for her. It nearly brought tears to my eyes a couple of times, when she walked out of that silk and velvet dressing room, along the carpet, gown trailing, hair pulled up, tiny little petite body wrapped in silk and lace and layers and trimmings. I know she hadn't ever realized how beautiful she is and she surprised herself. We had a great time. She was very close to buying the antique lace gown. Not only did it look like it was made for her, but the price was right, and she could buy it right off the rack. As always, she had to go home and think about it.

And, really, when it came right down to it, I knew she just wanted her skirt to work. The one that was back home, hanging in her bedroom. And I knew we could make it work.

About two weeks later, on her next trip north, she brought the skirt with her and we fixed it. It was actually super easy. We just let down two gathers at the top of the skirt, and tacked the elastic waistband in place. Done. She was so relieved.

She planned to have a top made from the extra fabric she'd purchased. She searched for patterns online and found one and brought it, with the fabric, to a seamstress; a new seamstress. She just sent me a picture of it this week. It's not completely finished yet (you can see the little yellow pins in the picture), but it looks great. It's the perfect combination of formal and not-too-formal, and it fits beautifully, or at least it will when the seams are actually stitched, not pinned.

I'm really looking forward to seeing it all together, all steamed and gussied, on Mom, in the sun, by the oceanside, with Mike the groom, and the grandchildren and friends and family. July 4, 2009, here we come!

A little footnote: Denise at Immortal Beloved Bridal in Saratoga, NY, was so great to work with. I have bought many dresses from her over the years at Bird of Paradise, including my Sweet Sixteen dress (my first of 4 Betsy Johnsons - thank you Dad!) and our long-standing relationship as customer and shop owner made it really fun to work with Denise again. Her bridal salon is the most elegant (you have to take your shoes off!)
and has the best service of all that I've been to - ever. It's lovely, full of dresses of all kinds and all price ranges. They have very talented seamstresses - dressmakers really - that will re-work a dress for you to make it right, not just a tuck here and a tuck there. Denise made it clear that what she loves most (besides dresses themselves) is making the dress perfect for the bride.

Can you say WEDDING?

Mom and the kids.

As many of you already know, my mother is getting married. In three weeks. She has planned a 4th of July wedding on a nearby island. She turned 65 two weeks ago, and bless her heart (and that of her fiance) she is planning a REAL wedding complete with DJ, cake, rings, caterer, bartender and about 80 guests coming from all parts of the country: New England, Arkansas, Florida, Colorado, Minnesota, Georgia and California, to name a few.
Remember what it was like to plan a wedding? Can you really remember? Or, now that it's been a while, do you only remember the glory of it? And of course, most of us had a lot of help with the planning: moms and friends who couldn't wait to take you dress shopping and help choose menus and colors and decorations, aunts and grandmothers who wanted to get involved, maybe members of the wedding party too, and of course future in-laws.
Well, imagine doing all that on your own. As the Matron of Honor, I try to help with the planning, but it's tough to do from afar. And when I got married, my mother didn't have two young kids at home going to school, playing sports, etc, so she had a little more time to shop with me and choose food and decorate.
So far, she's done most of it herself. Her fiance has helped with the decision making. He's been very involved in "visualising" the wedding: who will come, what type of music, how casual/formal, etc. But, the actual planning - the phone calls, the meetings, the shopping, the pricing, the contracts - has all been my mother. She's wiped. It's exhausting. She's cute and sweet, but she's wiped. She's already looking forward to sitting on the beach, on the 5th of July, just watching the gentle waves roll in and pass by.
From my point of view - the daughter of the bride - it's been way too much fun. I mean really, how many of us get help MOM plan a wedding and reverse those roles? So, I'll cover it all for you here, over the next few weeks. I'll tell you about the details she's taken care of, and the one's that get left to last: from the location to the decoration. Of course, I'll start with the wardrobe. I mean, that's what you really want to know, right? So, look for that in a day or two. I'll be back.