I received these, via email, from my mother (the new Mrs. Breen). They are jaw-dropping, and so I had to share. Even though they aren't on my list of things I'll blog about. I just had to. I tried to put them in order of jaw-dropping-ness, from my perception of least to most. Here you go. Check it out. Hold up your chin with one hand, as you click with the other.
Well, sure, who wouldn't be happy? Bacon fat solidified, straight out of the jar with a spoon..I mean, c'mon, of course. I'm a member of the Lard Information Council, aren't you? Don't forget, we have a meeting tonight after the Butter Bowl.
This one took me a minute. It's all the way down at the bottom. I thought it was going to be marriage counseling, or maybe some odd version of Viagra from the '50's - some herbal concoction maybe. It didn't occur to me that she just plain SMELLS.
Hmmm, Lysol for feminine hygiene. Never thought of that. A little spray here, a little spray there...
Naivete. What can I say? T for throat, T for taste. It's all there!
Really Dude? BLOW IN HER FACE?
Sage advice. It works every time, doesn't it ladies?
But I definitely saved the best for last. Definitely. Without doubt.
I'm speechless.
(Thank heavens they're sanitized. Because this girl I know? she's a little heavy, you know? just a little? and she uses the UN-SANITIZED tape worms. They're, like, totally worse. Much harder to swallow. And they don't work AT ALL.)
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